Trump Declares Remedial English as Official Language of U.S. in Executive Order

Unity and Efficiency at the Federal Level

In a bid to promote unity and streamline communication, President Donald Trump has signed an executive order declaring remedial English as the official language of the United States. The order dictates that government communications must be short, lacking coherent grammatical structure, and avoiding complex words.

Simplifying Government Communication

The executive order specifies that official documents should not include words with more than one syllable, challenging modifiers like adverbs, and should embrace misspellings. It emphasizes the use of simple, easy-to-sound-out words like 'dog,' 'mom,' and 'dad' while discouraging words starting with 'kn,' 'gn,' or a silent 'h'.

New Guidelines for Education

Following the executive order, the Department of Education has issued guidelines limiting schools from teaching students more than five words in total. This move aims to enforce the use of basic language for clearer communication at all levels of government.

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By: The Onion Staff
Title: Trump Declares Remedial English as Official Language of U.S. in Executive Order
Sourced From: theonion.com/trump-signs-executive-order-making-official-language-of-u-s-remedial-english/
Published Date: Fri, 28 Feb 2025 20:18:17 +0000